Where Is Your Spiritual Family?

Just a few days ago the Superior General of the Discalced Carmelites wrote a letter to the Secular members of the Order, of which I am a member, to mark the Solemnity of St Joseph. Fr Saverio was encouraging us in our Carmelite vocation, not the first he has done this since his election a number of years ago. Fr Saverio loves the Secular Order and is convinced that the way in which we live the Carmelite charism is important, not only for the Order, but for the Church. Indeed, one of his first acts as superior was to address a letter to the friars of the Order reminding them of their duty to serve and care for the members of the Secular Order.  He has proven himself to a be provident father to us in the Secular Order, so much so that when we speak of Father General, we do so not merely as a title, but in terms of a true relationship that exists between us and him.

Fr Saverio's commitment to the third branch of Discalced Carmel is most welcome. For a number of years after the Second Vatican Council there was a growing attitude in certain quarters that the lay members of Carmel were not members of the Order, not like the friars and nuns, but like cooperators or members of a confraternity (which also existed), faithful associated with the Order rather than being members of it. This was not unusual for Discalced Carmel, the Third Order had a difficult time establishing itself formally in the universal Order. 

Before the separation of the two Orders following St Teresa of Jesus's reform, the Ancient Observance (O. Carm) and the Discalced (the Teresian reform), a Third Order existed. When the two separated, the Discalced were cautious when it came to admitting lay people into the Order, to preserve the purity of the reform they were discouraged. When the reform split into two congregations, the Spanish maintained its cautionary policy while the Italian admitted lay people into a Third Order. Later, when the two were reunited, a tension existed and while lay people were admitted in some places, it was unofficial. It took some time for the Third Order to be acknowledged officially and for a number of years Third Order Discalced lived according to Constitutions established by the government of the Ancient Observance. However, lay people were eventually formally admitted to the Order and now they live the charism of St Teresa as the OCDS, Order of Discalced Carmelites Secular.

You may ask why this potted history of the Discalced Secular Order? Well, I have been thinking about one of my earlier posts, The Grace To Endure and I want to reflect on something which may help you all in these difficult times. It concerns the need for all of us to be members of a spiritual family.

A son of St Teresa

Before I look at that, I want to tell you about my journey to Carmel, because people seem genuinely surprised to discover that I am a diocesan priest and a Discalced Carmelite. 'Is that possible?' they ask. Yes, it is. 'What does it mean?' they ask. It means many things, including two superiors! The first thing to note is that the Church allows diocesan or secular priests to join Third Orders and Secular Institutes, just like lay people. The Church permits this for the good of her priests, knowing how membership of a spiritual family can enhance the living of their vocation and their ministry, which in turn benefits the Church, the faithful and the proclamation of the Gospel. Spiritually healthy priests are a blessing for the Church, just as we know spiritually impoverished priests can be a curse.

There was always devotion to St Thérèse of the Child Jesus in my family, my godmother had an intimate relationship with the Saint and she passed this on to me. That was my first meeting with Carmel. I knew about St Teresa of Avila and St John of the Cross, as I always had an interest in the Saints, and these two Spanish Carmelites were extraordinary and worth noting. I had read William Thomas Walsh's biography of St Teresa of Avila while in school, but apart from being impressed by her, the 'call' to Carmel was still some time away. Two things led to a deeper engagement. The first was a friendship with a Christian Brother and in our conversations he spoke of his founder, Blessed Edmund Ignatius Rice's deep love of St Teresa and her influence on his spirituality and establishing his order. I was fascinated and began to read some of her writings. Meanwhile as I was singing in a university choir, we performed Mendelssohn's oratorio Elijah, and this opened me up to the great prophet, his life, teachings and influence in the Church today - his role as a spiritual founder of the Carmelite Order. As a lay student I was also visiting the Discalced Carmelite Church in Clarendon Street in Dublin, attending Mass and going to confession to the friars, finding them to be wise and holy men.

A spiritual event in my life led to what I see as an encounter with St Teresa and this convinced me that she was calling me to become her spiritual son. In time, as I discerned a vocation, I interpreted this call to be one of the friars, but that did not work out. Having completed postulancy, my physical health had deteriorated and was not good, this seemed to be a sign that I was not where God wanted me to be. Sure of a vocation to the priesthood, I entered seminary for my local diocese, and with the help and advice of the late Fr Benedict Groeschel, I realised that I was to proceed to ordination there as God had opened that door. Where God would lead after that would be revealed in time, he said. With Carmel still in my heart, I intended to give the Secular Order a go, so I was going to go back to Clarendon Street and seek admittance to the Secular Order community there. However thanks to a friend who was already a member of the community in Belfast, I found my home: the moment I walked into the midst of the members there I sensed the call again: Madre wanted me there.

One of the greatest blessings of my life

I have since been definitively professed in the evangelical counsels - poverty, chastity and obedience, I have received my new name, John of Jesus, and I wear my habit, the simple scapular, under my clerical clothes. I have the full habit hanging in the wardrobe so when I die I will wear it beneath my vestments in the coffin (a great memento mori I can tell you!). A few years ago, as permitted in our Order for Secular Order members, I professed the vows - with the permission of my community, the Carmelite provincial and my bishop. The reality of the vow of obedience was impressed upon me when my community elected me their President not once, but twice - I am now in my second term. A busy life as a priest now includes the duty of serving my brothers and sisters in Carmel. God provides the time and the means, thankfully.

My life is enhanced by my community, my spiritual family. I remember the first day I came to the community and the then President, Eileen Bailey, since gone to God, told the community that 'Father is here as a brother not only a priest, so he is here to be ministered to as we are'. She need never have worried, the brothers and sisters embraced me as a brother and now they are my family. With them, I live my life as a Christian, a Carmelite and a priest. There is a wonderful bond between us, one of mutual love and support: home. Whatever all that happens in my life and in the Church, I know I have my community with me even when I am alone here in my parish. Our monthly meetings are a joy, and our common life, a strength. Membership as a brother of the Secular Order is one of the greatest blessings of my life, and one of the greatest for my priesthood. 

St Teresa of Calcutta used to speak of 'the call within the call'. She knew from personal experience that being called by God to the consecrated state is not the end of the story, God can call again and again to a deeper living of the Christian life. My call as a Carmelite is such, and there may be more ahead, as Fr Benedict Groeschel advised me. But that is true for all of us. Our call is to be Christian, but what lies ahead lies within the providence of God and we must be open to that.  But it also raises another question, which is the main subject of this piece: the necessity for all of us to be members of a spiritual family within which we live our faith according to a spirituality which nourishes and sustains us. This is, I believe, of vital importance today, as we must face many difficulties and challenges to our faith.  

The parish family

The basic unity of our spiritual family is the parish, where we as members of the Body of Christ in a locale confirm the bonds of baptism that unite us and form a community of faith, love and common life. The parish priest is the spiritual father of this community, caring for and feeding his people as a shepherd his flock. The parish priest and his curates, if he is blessed to have them, administer the sacraments and their graces as a means of feeding the people with the 'manna' that comes through the sacramental system established by Christ: the greatest being the Holy Eucharist. But they are also to provide for their people by 'breaking the bread' of the Scriptures in fidelity to the Word of God, and to teach the teachings of the Church to help the faithful grow in knowledge of their God, their faith and their Church. Pastoral care in its many manifestations brings a priest to fulfil that role of gentle and loving father to his people, bringing to them to encounter Christ in their midst.  There are also times when the priest must settle disagreements among the faithful, to remind them of their Christian identity and the need for charity and understanding. As pastor, the priest is to nurture the bonds of unity among his parishioners so they too see each other as brothers and sisters and they are nurtured in their spiritual family. He is prepare his people for heaven by helping them grow in holiness. Parishes are to be schools of holiness, the place where Saints are born.

That is the ideal and the aim of parish life. However, it is not always the way. Parishes have their difficulties and sometimes they seem more like centres of dissension rather than unity. Power play is also at work and in the midst of the faithful there are those who aim to undermine the faith for their own purposes. And, sadly, too often we see divisions between priest and people, be the priest's fault or the people's. Sometimes priests approach parishes like administration jobs, they sort out the financial problems, make sure the parish plant is in good shape, but are poor when it comes to forming their people in the ways of faith. Some set up committees to democratise the parish and get everyone working, get everyone involved doing something so no one is left out and the parish is inclusive. I have seen this many times and such parishes can get very political very quickly and the faith suffers.

No parish is ideal and never will be; there will always be problems. However, adherence to the vocation of the parish to be a spiritual family can remain unaffected for the most part by problems and difficulties.  Indeed, unity and love can actually flourish in the midst of challenges and problems. For that reason, we must be committed to our local parish, support our priests and seek to build up unity in faith and love. That said, there are many who, like myself, may see the need to be part of a particular spiritual family: to discern a call within the call and embrace a charism to help us live our Christian lives in a deeper way. This may be the result of the failure of a parish to provide spiritual nourishment for its people, or simply a desire for a more fraternal context for our lives as Catholics. Either way, it is worth reflecting on this, given that it can be of great personal benefit.

Living the charism

When founding their Orders and congregations, God has inspired many saintly founders to make provision for lay people and diocesan priests. The charism the Lord conferred on founders is rich and profound and quite often finds expression in various ways of life consecrated and otherwise. For us in Carmel the charism given to the first hermits on Mount Carmel (most of whom were laymen, by the way, some even crusader knights) and then renewed in St Teresa of Jesus, finds its bountiful manifestation in priest and brother friars, in cloistered nuns, laymen and women and secular priests, and also in various other congregations (Third Orders Regular). In each of these different ways of life the various aspects of that life of contemplation and imitation of Our Lady and Elijah are revealed. The scapular is revealed in various forms: the long version in the habits of the friars and nuns and in the simple, smaller version worn beneath the clothes of the Carmelite laity and secular priests. Carmel is present in churches and priories, in the cloister, in the secular world, in married life, in the family, in the workplace, on the missions. St Teresa is Madre of a large number of sons and daughters.

And this is true of many Orders. The first Third Order was founded by St Francis to help sanctify lay people through sharing in the charism he was given. Then the Dominicans, Augustinians and Carmelites embraced this, as did the Mercidarians, the Trinitarians, the Servites, Minims and Premonstratensians. The monastic Orders like the Benedictines welcomed Oblates and some time after their foundations many congregations welcomed lay people into their spiritual families to share in the charism, spirit and work of their particular institute. The development of the Secular Institutes allowed lay people to embrace the vows and live in the world but as part of a supportive community, they also admit diocesan priests. The founding of Opus Dei by St Josemaria Escriva wrote a new chapter in this way of life, providing another means of living within a spiritual family in the world. More active groups should also be seen as among these spiritual families - I am thinking of the Legion of Mary which is gifted with a Marian charism.

Membership of one of these spiritual families is an option for all Catholics and can provide not only an approved and tested spirituality, but also a community in which to find support and fraternity. All of these spiritual families aim to assist their members to attain sanctity, each in accordance with that charism gifted to their founder and lived through their teachings and the work of the particular institute. Each is different and while one may appeal to some Catholics, it may not to another. But we are not all called to be Carmelites or Franciscans, perhaps Benedictine Oblates or members of Opus Dei. In the midst of these families, the members not only find a deeper relationship with God, but also a deeper understanding of who they are, what their vocation is and the means to live it. Contrary to what one might think, membership of these families does not (or at least should not) effect membership of a parish and one's obligation to the parish. In fact, as we find in our Order, it leads to a greater engagement with the parish and a greater generosity in being of service within the parish family.

Discerning the call within the call

In these times I would recommend that Catholics reflect on the possibility that they are called to membership of a particular spiritual family in the Church. For laypeople struggling in the current climate, and perhaps not being fed in their parishes, this could lead to many blessings, much needed support and concrete formation in the faith and the spiritual life. Being part of a family would lessen the need (one hopes) to complain and with the sense of isolation gone, allow the individual to pursue their call as Christians with greater intensity. As God said, it is not good for any of us to be alone, community is to be part of our lives, and community with men and women sharing our vision and striving for holiness can only enhance our lives.

I would urge my brother priests to reflect on this and consider these spiritual families. Life as a diocesan priest can be lonely and hectic and too often the spiritual life can fall to the margins with so many demands on our time. There is also the temptation not to make time for further formation, which is necessary if we are to be true pastors guiding the souls of those in our care. We also need time to get away, to be among, not parishioners seeking our time and attention, or other priests looking to gossip or play cards, but brothers and sisters who embrace us as our brothers and with them we are ministered to for a change. Priests need a spirituality and while priesthood has a spirituality all its own, it can be enhanced and deepened with the addition of one of the great charisms of the spiritual traditions given to the Church by God.

Of course, all of this needs to be discerned. It is a matter for prayer and searching within the soul, and for external research. Among diocesan priests I know, one other is a member of my community, two are Benedictine Oblates, others are members of Opus Dei, another a member of a Secular Institute, a few cooperators with some of the congregations, and a number of priests of my diocese are members of the Fraternities of Blessed Charles de Foucault. All of these priests, and their ministries (and their people), are better for it.

The prayer groups

Perhaps some may not hear a call to any of these spiritual families, but that does not mean that they must labour alone in the vineyard. In the last few decades the emergence of good, faithful prayer groups has led to assisting numerous faithful and priests without the need for professing promises or vows. St Pio of Pietrelcina was convinced that prayer groups could achieve much for the Church and her members and he founded what is now known as the Padre Pio Prayer Groups which are thriving all over the world. In these groups the members are nourished by the life, example and teachings of St Pio. There are many other such groups. The Marian Movement of Priests, the Medjugorje Prayer Groups and many others were founded to form members according to a particular spirituality, usually Marian, but always Christological. Since I was ordained I have been serving one such group for women which seeks to sustain them in the spiritual life, drawing on the Mystery of the Holy Eucharist. 

Once directed properly in fidelity to the Gospel and the Church, prayer groups can be a tremendous source of formation and support. Many pastoral activities and initiatives can emerge from these groups and those based in the parish with the support and guidance of the parish clergy can be a great blessing to the parish and her priests. So these prayer groups should be encouraged and guided, its members encouraged to see themselves living and praying in the heart of the Church in the service of the Church and her mission.

For those priests who do not discern a call to one of the great spiritual families, prayer groups can be a source of support and nourishment, particularly prayer groups where the members are priests themselves. Canon law encourages priests to live a common life, and while that may not be possible for many practically speaking, a priest prayer group formed with a view to assisting the members in their priestly life and having a formation programme as part of the group's mission, will go a long way to providing the means of a common life much in the same way as a third order. Some existing groups attempt to do this - the Marian Movement of Priests for one which has priest only cenacles.  But there is nothing stopping a group of priests coming together regularly to form an informal but supportive community. However, such groups would also need to be guided and have a particular spirituality to offer the members.

The grace to flourish

In my piece, The Grace To Endure, I advised you all to remain true to the faith and to live it, regardless of what is going on around us. In addition to that advice, I now also suggest that you consider the great spiritual families of the Church, the many sanctifying charisms, and see if God is inviting you to find your home in one of them. United in the bonds of charity and faith, immersed in the spirituality and charism of the founder, you will not just survive these times, rather you will flourish and grow in holiness with your brothers and sisters. In these communities we will need, of course, to die to self, but we will also come to life. We will live in union, though we may live apart from the other members of our community, our daily prayer and our common life testifying to the bond that exists between us. And of course to become the spiritual son or daughter of the founder, one who was entrusted with a great mission in the Church and who now may well be entrusting you with that same mission at this time and in accordance with your state in life.

We should all seek the opportunity and the means to flourish as Christians and sons and daughters of the Church. God has provided many ways of doing this, and the various spiritual families of the Church have been entrusted with particular charisms in this regard. It would be no harm for Catholics to explore this. We lose nothing by looking but we gain everything by discovering that God has provided a home and a family for us.